I feel like my situation is slightly different as I'm freelance, but I can hand on heart tell you that I never got as much work done in an office as I do now. I find it so weird that the accepted thinking is that people get more work done in-house. I literally used to book out meeting rooms for me and my work friends so we could have a 15 minute chat between clients. My cat doesn't have the same kind of chat, so when I'm at home working, I work
The stigma *is* the same when you say you're freelance and working from home though. I swear everyone on the school run thinks I don't actually work. It seems to be really hard for people to wrap their head around me planning my work around my kids, I have had so many conversations in which I can see people losing interest in my response to "what do you do for work" because they're clearly thinking "Oh OK, she doesn't really work." I DO! I DO WORK! I SWEAR IT! I AM ACTUALLY VERY, VERY PRODUCTIVE!
I actually haven't found that! I used to get more people trying to drop stuff on me before I had kids than I do now – for example a random child of a family member being dropped in "for a few hours if that's OK because you're at home anyway aren't you?"
I feel the work is undervalued in a different way now, I think it used to be "oh she's not actually getting any work done" and now it's just straight up "oh she doesn't have a job." Neither are great, but the former had a more obvious air of disrespect to it, whereas now I think people just don't really understand what I do all day, which I guess is somewhat on me for not explaining myself all that well...
The connection between our work culture and stigma is so interesting! I never thought of it this way before and yet, it’s such a huge part of why mothers in the US go back to work and outsource care. This makes me think about the flexibility I would need in order to return to paid work, it’s also interesting how flexibility isn’t something you can really ask for in a job interview and if someone promises you flexibility, their definition is likely very different from yours.
Yeah, it's tough AF to start a new role as a mother for the reasons you've listed above – also worth noting that the flexible work policy you read on a company website while applying, doesn't mean the culture is one that supports it.
Here's to building a world where that non-negotiable work feature is not seen as limiting – and just, well, normal and essential. Thank you for reading x
what did i get from this - as a living systems writer - flexible is essential in every avenue of work /life/living ... flexible is not something we have been given/offered/allowed - it is as if it is a privilege - yet it is how we most easily flow and function and so we need to rebuild with flexible as a major factor... the other thing is .... i kind of had to get the 'selected song' out of my head the entire time.. which wasnt Gwen - it was Olivia.. doing flexible flexible rather than physical physical lets get physical...
I feel like my situation is slightly different as I'm freelance, but I can hand on heart tell you that I never got as much work done in an office as I do now. I find it so weird that the accepted thinking is that people get more work done in-house. I literally used to book out meeting rooms for me and my work friends so we could have a 15 minute chat between clients. My cat doesn't have the same kind of chat, so when I'm at home working, I work
The stigma *is* the same when you say you're freelance and working from home though. I swear everyone on the school run thinks I don't actually work. It seems to be really hard for people to wrap their head around me planning my work around my kids, I have had so many conversations in which I can see people losing interest in my response to "what do you do for work" because they're clearly thinking "Oh OK, she doesn't really work." I DO! I DO WORK! I SWEAR IT! I AM ACTUALLY VERY, VERY PRODUCTIVE!
Yes but also, the stigma freelancing is very different to the stigma of freelancing while also a parent, don't you think?!
I actually haven't found that! I used to get more people trying to drop stuff on me before I had kids than I do now – for example a random child of a family member being dropped in "for a few hours if that's OK because you're at home anyway aren't you?"
I feel the work is undervalued in a different way now, I think it used to be "oh she's not actually getting any work done" and now it's just straight up "oh she doesn't have a job." Neither are great, but the former had a more obvious air of disrespect to it, whereas now I think people just don't really understand what I do all day, which I guess is somewhat on me for not explaining myself all that well...
The connection between our work culture and stigma is so interesting! I never thought of it this way before and yet, it’s such a huge part of why mothers in the US go back to work and outsource care. This makes me think about the flexibility I would need in order to return to paid work, it’s also interesting how flexibility isn’t something you can really ask for in a job interview and if someone promises you flexibility, their definition is likely very different from yours.
This was brilliant and YOU are brilliant! 👏👏👏
Yeah, it's tough AF to start a new role as a mother for the reasons you've listed above – also worth noting that the flexible work policy you read on a company website while applying, doesn't mean the culture is one that supports it.
Thank you my brilliant friend xx
Such an important post. As a working mother without her village - flexibility is a non-negotiable for me. However much that may limit me!
Here's to building a world where that non-negotiable work feature is not seen as limiting – and just, well, normal and essential. Thank you for reading x
what did i get from this - as a living systems writer - flexible is essential in every avenue of work /life/living ... flexible is not something we have been given/offered/allowed - it is as if it is a privilege - yet it is how we most easily flow and function and so we need to rebuild with flexible as a major factor... the other thing is .... i kind of had to get the 'selected song' out of my head the entire time.. which wasnt Gwen - it was Olivia.. doing flexible flexible rather than physical physical lets get physical...
LOL Mum, the song reference. Hilarious.
And you're spot on – it's not a privilege, it's a reflection of being more aligned with the world around us.